Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Have Compassion. Edit your facebook statuses, blog posts, and emails

I am compiling a list of things you should avoid posting about, writing about, or talking about, if you have a missionary friend or family member in Ecuador (or perhaps most other parts of the known and unknown universe) (though in all actuality, I have serious doubts about whether or not there are missionaries in unknown parts of the universe).

  • Fall. STOP IT. Please do not mention the crunch of leaves, the autumn colors in your neighborhood, or the crispness of the air. You may however mention the cold, the wind, the hours you spend raking leaves, and the mold. Mentioning the upcoming flu season is also advised.
  • Dr. Pepper. I wish I had not written that. Now I am salivating. But, for all you people on facebook who JUST MUST post every Dr. Pepper in your status updates, please know that I have recommended you for head of the torture department at the "super secret spy agency club". They should be contacting you shortly. Your skills are needed.
  • Starbucks Pumpkin latte or Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate. Please see the above. You may however post the amount of money you spent on you nameless hot drink. It will make me feel better when I drop by Mimo's and buy a cup of coffee for 40 cents.
I appreciate your cooperation. So will any other missionaries on your friend list.

Oh, and to you other missionaries, have any other items I need to add? Just mention them in the comment section and I will be sure to include them in this highly educational (and whiney) post.


Tara said...

Okay, I'm not a missionary. But someone whom I love dearly is. One of her favorite things is peanut butter m&m's. You might need to add that to your list.

Lindsey said...

I guess I just shouldn't ever even write anything on facebook because that will just remind you of how much you miss me!

Devon said...

Is it okay if I laugh at your misery? Because this post is hilarious. If it makes you feel any better, not only did I spend a ridiculous amount and a pumpkin spice latte - it wasn't very good. :( If someone wanted to mail you some Dr Pepper how would that work?